Thursday, June 16, 2011

Operation Wintergreen...

…is a stupid name for a blog. But my suggestion, “Arkady and the Arkadyettes”, was vetoed, so that’s what we went with in the end.

After experiencing a bout of shenanigans, Kal and Michenab came to Texas to meet Setoth and I. The four of us are now traveling together, and for the sake of convenience, we’re all moving over to a single blog. That blog is the aforementioned “Operation Wintergreen”, which can be found here.

And did I mention the kids? Yeah,we've got a near comatose eight year old girl and a twelve year old boy with anger issues. Baby sitting is not what I signed up for when I joined this.

To be honest, I’m starting to miss my lightning banner and storm wallpaper already.


Saturday, June 4, 2011


I’m going to be running out of houses very quickly if this keeps up.

Peace and quiet are things which never last long, and as such one day I looked out the window to see that my house was surrounded by dense fog. Great way to start the day.

Though, it wasn’t just the fog. Outside waited Javert, as well as some buddies he’d brought along. All this searching, and he just shows up at my door. If only he’d called ahead of time, I could have put on something nice. He and the half dozen masked guys didn’t seem to be in any hurry; I expect if I’d stayed inside, they’d have continued to wait patiently in the driveway.

Course I wasn’t going to stay inside. It would be most impolite to keep Javert waiting out in the cold, so I had to go and greet him. Setoth came too, though he stayed rather far back. I bet he thought he looked so cool, leaning against that wall with an expression of disinterest. All he was missing was the leather jacket and the greased back hair. The paddle he was holding would have looked out of place in the picture, but I’m not one to deny a man his weapon of choice.

But we had to get things started, so I shouted a Mark Twain quote at him, which he responded to with a quote from Yevgeny Zamyatin’s “We”. Thus getting the formalities out of the way, Javert motioned for two of the masked proxies to move forward, which they did, at a rather clumsy charging pace.

The first was carrying a baseball bat, which he stupidly had raised above his head, as in preparation for a swing. This left the rest of him wide open, making it easy to stab him in the gut. He went down easy; these were no unstoppable corpses, just kids who had been misfortunate enough to be sent to fight me. Protip to any potential proxies out there: before you join with the tall guy, try to learn some of the basics of fighting. It may help you survive a few seconds longer when you have to fight someone like me.

My second opponent had a knife instead of a bat, but was just as inexperienced as the other. Sidestep one of his wild lunges, trip him, then slit his throat before he could stand back up. Just a minute had passed, and I’d already gone through a third of the cannon fodder.

Javert sent the next two proxies forward, because apparently he wanted to stick to the time old tradition of a villain sending their minions forward in groups small enough for the hero to easily dispatch them. The first tried to punch me; instead, he got his wrist broken. Then stabbed through the eye with a knife.

Our fourth proxy appeared to be the most intelligent one. Upon seeing what had happened to the three before him, he decided to go after the lesser appearing target, and charged at Setoth. Not that this proved to be any better a choice, as before the proxy could do anything, Setoth hit him in the throat with his paddle. At’a boy, Setoth. When in doubt, aim for the jugular. Several more quick blows to the head knocked the proxy down, and discouraged him from getting up again.

The remaining two redshirt minions were looking rather worried at this point, slowly backing up while casting fearful glances at Javert. Luckily for them, he did not order them forward. Instead he laughed, and stepped forward himself.

Javert: “Of course, this has to be settled between the two of us. Anything less would be anticlimactic.”

And fight we did. I still had the knife I’d been using on hand, so I tried stabbing with that; he grabbed my wrist and made me drop the knife. Javert went for a punch, which I blocked, followed by a punch of my own. This back and forth went on for some time, and I believe Javert was becoming rather surprised. Unlike our previous encounter, where Javert had rather shortly beaten me down, this time I was holding my own against him. But holding my own wasn’t going to be enough to beat Javert.

After some savagely fun beatings, the two of us broke away to regain our breath. As the two of us are prone to doing in these lulls, conversation began.

J: “You’ve been getting better.”

A: “Of course I am. I always eat my fruits and vegetables. And drink lots of milk.”

J: “Good. That will make it more satisfying when I give you the justice you deserve.”

A: “I’ve been meaning to tell you this Javert, but you’ve got a screwed up sense of justice.”

J: “Maybe from your perspective. But ridding the world of a monster like you is justice in its finest form.”

A: “Yeah, I’m really just not seeing it. What have I done to deserve this monstrous label?”

J: “Is that even a question which needs be asked anymore?”

A: “No, really. Since coming to Austin, what have I done? Killed a few people, but all them were trying to kill me. I can’t claim to have committed any deeds which are truly monstrous for months now. You though, Javert, you’ve gone all out with the moral depravity, haven’t you? Before it was just minor antagonism against me, but then you went and kidnapped someone. I have to congratulate you, for dropping yourself down to my level with such speed.”

J: “Don’t compare me to you/” Oho, was that a crack I was seeing in Javert’s guarded expression?

A: “Why ever not? Though, to be honest, considering what a good boy I’ve been lately, I’d almost say that you’ve become worse than me. Were a member of the Austin PD to happen to stroll by, I know which one of us he’d be arresting.” Brief pause, followed by me whispering, “Hint: It wouldn’t be me.”

J: That definitely got a reaction out of him; smile turned into a frown, and there was quite a lot of controlled rage behind his voice. “Everything I have done has all been done for His greater go-“

A: “Yeah, yeah, greater good, end justifies, the means, all that. Great defense; it allows you to do pretty much anything you want to and still claim that you’re the good guy. Especially if you claim that it’s all for God; I mean, who am I to claim what’s right and wrong if GOD HIMSELF is giving you orders?”

J: “Be quiet.”

That was when he charged at me and punched me in the face. Not very polite, all things considered.

A: “Aw, come on Javert. No need to be all aggressive just because I pointed out that your entire moral justification is based on the assumption that you’re already right. You should take the knowledge that you’ve committed the logical fallacy of begging the question with honor and dignity!”

That got me a punch to the gut. Such an action could not be left unresponded to, so there was another brief interlude of us beating the crap out of each other before we broke, and the conversation resumed.

A: “So, Javert, I’ve been doing some research.”

He didn’t answer. Far too busy glaring at me.

A: “Found out an interesting fact. Your family thinks you’ve disappeared. You didn’t explain anything to them at all, did you? Just up and vanished one day, leaving them behind without a word.”

J: And that was the major blow; I’d seen the cracks appearing, but this was what started to tear them apart “I couldn’t tell them where I was going. I needed to make sure they were safe.”

A: “Safe? From what, me? Whether or not you told them wouldn’t change my ability to drive back down and kill them. It’s less than an hour trip away. I could kill them in the morning and still have the whole day free. Nah, you not telling them wasn’t to protect them from me; it was to make sure they didn’t see what you were up to. I wonder what your little boy would have thought had he seen you laughing while you watched me slaughter your companions?”

Javert didn’t respond with words; just a wild shout and a blind charge. Very little thought or technique was put into his attack. Such a foolish mistake. If you’ve been paying attention, you may have noticed that I had yet to draw my sword during this fight. That was because I was saving it for a moment such as this. Before Javert could reach me, I swung the sword out of the sheath, into his stomach. As he doubled over from the blow, I swung the sheath, hitting him in the head. Javert fell to his knees, and once more I struck him in the head, knocking him to the ground. He tried frantically crawling back onto his feet, eyes glaring at me with all the hate in the world. Couldn’t let him do that, oh no, so I provided several more blows to the head, neck, and back. He kept screaming, “I’LL KILL YOU!” and other similar variations, but there was little chance of him carrying out these threats. His cool, collected manner was gone, replaced by blind, talentless anger. A pity, really; in seconds, the fight had gone from pure entertainment to an easy victory.

Thinking that it was an easy victory brought about the inevitable turn for the worse, and a few moments later I was pondering many mysteries, such as why the fog was suddenly tinted orange, or why the temperature had risen, or why I was smelling something burning, and oh good god was that my house on fire?

Slender Man had manifested within the fog, and with him came fire, which gutted my old home. Setoth, being a sensible person, immediately ran for the car. I, not being a sensible person, stayed put. Round 2, Mr. Man, and this time I didn’t need to worry about protecting some stupid girl….

Tentacles tore out of Slender Man’s back and came at me. No ominous build up, this was Slendy going straight for the kill. And I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

I charged forward, into the oncoming attack. The tentacles looked like a black mass, but there were gaps between them, just enough to move through. It would be impossible to dodge everything, but I could minimize the damage. I twisted and jumped through them, trying to predict the path of the constantly weaving lines. I took several hits, more than I could count; scratches along my entire body, long gashes down my legs, the tip of my left ear cut off…. My shirt was left a ruin, which made me sad. I liked that shirt. The important fact was that I was managing to keep my vital organs intact, or intact enough for me to keep pushing forward. Then, I could see the end. Slendy’s tie, a wonderful target to be aimed for. I lunged forward with my sword, aiming to strike down this creature….

But then my sword was gone. One moment there, next moment, my hand was empty. Forward momentum propelled me forward, weaponless, towards Slender Man. More tentacles came out of his chest, and wrapped themselves around my arm. The grip was stronger than anything I’ve felt before, and they slowly started to pull me inwards. I tried swinging my other arm to punch the thing, but more tentacles came out and gripped that fist as well. With both my hands trapped, I was being slowly pulled in towards Slender Man.

Whatever nastiness would have ensued is something I can only speculate on, as the sound of several gunshots created a bit of a shocked silence. I took a moment to look away from Slendy, and saw Javert, holding his gun, and firing it, not at me, but at Slender Man, while shouting, “No! He’s mine! I will kill him! Only me!”

Slender Man did not seem to take this rebellious spirit well. He released his grip on me (and by that I mean he threw me into a tree with what I consider to be an excessive amount of force), and began to slowly walk towards Javert. Javert continued to fire at Slender Man, madly screaming about how he was the only person allowed to kill me. One of the still standing proxies ran over and tried to restrain Javert, only to be shot in the face as a result. Even after ineffectually firing the rest of the clip into Slender Man, Javert continued to pull the trigger, over and over, as though it had become an automatic motion. Only once Slendy was a meter away did Javert throw aside the gun and charge. His charge was less successful than mine had been, and he was enveloped in tentacles within seconds. As the tentacles wrapped around Javert, he began to scream in pain. But even between the cries, he still was trying to shout his intent to kill me.

The sound of a car horn turned me away from the spectacle of Javert and Slendy, reminding me that Setoth was still inside my car. He shouted, “I know you’re worried about your boyfriend, but get in the car now!” Such a polite fellow. I was torn, for part of me did still wish to charge back into the fray, but Javert fighting Slender Man was such a delicious irony that I couldn’t bring myself to interfere. I got into the car, and Setoth drove, taking us away from the fire and fog.

Right before we left, I threw one of my knives out the window at the last standing proxy. Missed him (you try hitting a target while you’re in a moving car), but damn, did I make him jump. I wish I could have seen his expression under that mask.


Saturday, May 28, 2011

What is it With Buildings and Fire?

It shouldn’t be this hard to find one person, even in a large city like this. It’s not as though Javert exactly blends in. A black trench coat, over a black police uniform, in the middle of Central Texas summer? Perhaps the reason I haven’t been able to find him is because he collapsed from heat exhaustion while trying to look cool in his heavy clothes. But maybe I’m giving the man too much credit for his hide and seek skills. He does have supernatural assistance.

Now, there was something else I was supposed to mention here that didn’t have to do with Javert…. Something important…. Hm…. What could it be….

Oh, yeah, Setoth’s apartment burned down.

Happened yesterday. I’d just been wandering back from another fruitless day trying to find Javert, when I saw the fire. It was consuming the building at a pretty rapid pace; it was only chance that Setoth had been outside at the time, and thus wasn’t caught in the blaze. We left before the fire department arrived, as neither of us really wanted to try and explain our situation to them.

So, now we’re living in the empty tomb that is my parent’s house. And yes, tomb is a very appropriate word. There isn’t a sign that anyone has been inside it since I left. Dust covers everything, half the lights don’t work, and there’s constantly this unnatural echo. When I questioned the neighbors, none of them remembered anyone living inside the house. They didn’t even recognize me, though I’d lived there most of my life (but then again, that may be because the last time any of them saw me, I didn’t have facial scarring and still had the time to shave). It’s all just a big, creepy, unsettling situation.

Really not sure I like staying here. It does have certain advantages: plenty of food still in the pantry, air conditioning, I get to sleep on a real bed instead of just a mattress, and I raided the kitchen knives for weapons. But even so, this place has too many connections to the old me. Back when I was weak, and tried to hide my fear with empty boasts. But if I have to put up with those memories, then I will. No! I won’t just put up with them! I will use the memories of my old self as proof of how far I have come since that day! And they shall serve as the motivation for me to become EVEN STRONGER!

Far too motivated to keep typing now. Going to go and prepare for Javert’s inevitable defeat at my hands.


Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Big Damn Heroes

If you read Setoth’s blog, you may have heard about the girl he’s been with lately, whom he’s taken to calling “Babs” for the sake of her anominity.] I didn’t bother to mention it here, as I don’t believe Setoth’s love life has anything to do with me, beyond forcing me to put up with an unbearably cheery Setoth.

But, long story short, she got kidnapped by Javert. Setoth considered this a big deal for some reason, and demanded we find and rescue her. Luckily for our search efforts, Javert chose to be generous, and the next day a note containing a date, time, address, and Javert’s signature was left on our door.

I scouted out the place several hours before the meeting time. It was a big, fancy, gated North Austin lake house. Javert must be really moving up in the world if he can get a place like that on a policeman’s salary.

Of course it was obvious the whole thing was a trap. That knowledge never detracted from our willingness to complete the task, but it did make our planning much more cautious.

It was decided early on that Setoth, not me, would be the one to confront Javert, because, in Setoth’s words, “We’re trying to save someone, not turn the house into a giant crater.” While Setoth would handle talking to Javert, I would go in, grab the girl, then get out. Now that I actually have a cell phone (and by have a cell phone, I mean I took Babs’s phone from her place after we learned she’d been kidnapped), I could call Setoth when I was done, and we’d both get out of there.

My first thought was to just charge the gate, fight my way past anyone I met, find Babs, and declare it all a success. But I knew Javert would be expecting something like that, so instead I’d need to sneak in over the gate in the back. But Javert would know that I knew that I couldn’t run in, so he’d have preparations there as well. But since I knew that he knew that I knew….

It all was getting very confusing. As such, when the time did come, after dropping Setoth off and waiting long enough for him to focus Javert’s attention, I just smashed through the gate with my car, and then drove it through these big windows someone had installed in the place in order to make it look all modern and stylish. Having created my dramatic entrance, I started running through the house, searching the rooms.

When I had envisioned this part of the plan, I’d been expecting it to involve me fighting my way through hordes of proxies in fierce room to room combat. Instead, there was no one else inside to greet me. Very unnerving, and I began to wonder if, between zerosage and I, we’d somehow managed to kill every proxy in Central Texas apart from Javert. Given the body count we’ve been having, that actually wouldn’t be too surprising.

I found Babs in a second story bedroom. Once more, my expectations of what I would encounter failed to match the reality. I had been envisioning her locked away in a dark, filthy room, something akin to a medieval dungeon. Instead she was lying on an expansive bed in a very nice looking bedroom, watching a television screen with mild disinterest. Though her expression of surprise when I charged inside the room was priceless, I’ll say. The entire exchange when a little like this:

Arkady: “I’m Evan Everyman, and I’m here to rescue you.”

Babs: “What?”

Arkady: “Oh, forget it. Get up, we’re leaving.”

Why does no one ever laugh at my attempts to make EverymanHYBRID jokes?

Surprise meant she didn’t argue much when I dragged her back to my car and began to drive away. I’d only made it a few hundred feet from the house when I got a call from Setoth’s phone.

Arkady: “Setoth, I’ve rescued Babs. Where should I meet you to pick you up-“

Javert: “Arkady! It’s been too long.”
Well, fuck.

A: “What have you done with Setoth?”

J: “He’s perfectly fine. No need for you to worry. Though I must say, I am surprised at you. I would have never expected you to take the chivalrous route and gone for the girl when you could have fought me instead. Perhaps this Setoth is being a good influence on you.” Right. I totally saved Babs because of Setoth’s good influence. And not because he threatened bodily harm towards me if we didn’t try to save her.

A: “Yeah, well, I’m just such a nice guy. Can’t help but rescue a damsel in distress and shit.”

J: “Rescue? On the contrary, I was the one who rescued her; you are returning her to captivity.”
Say what.

A: “Is this going to be one of those times when you give some kind of bullshit explanation for why you’re so morally superior to us, because I’m honestly starting to get really tired of things like that.”

J: “Look at her life before this. A meaningless existence defined only by excess, filling her nights with drugs and mindless hedonism. She was falling into the gutter of society. Had you actually bothered to speak to her during her time with Setoth, you would have seen it clearly. I’m pulling her out of the darkness she has been engulfed in, back into the light.”

A: “By forcing her to be some kind of mindless drone?”

J: “Force? No, never something like that, Arkady. If she had desired to become one of His disciples later on, that would be acceptable. All I was doing was taking her away from the influences which had harmed her, and giving her a new chance at life.”

A: “Right, you were just trying to help her, which is why you used her as bait for us.”

He didn’t answer that one. I think I might have struck a nerve.

A: “So what was your plan, anyways? It can’t have been a very good one. I mean, I just drove in and grabbed her. I’m thinking you’ve forgotten how to set up ambushes, Javert.”

Instead of an answer, I heard static from the phone. Then the car radio began blaring random noises, the headlights flashed on and off, and hey, look at that, there’s a tall man in a suit right in the middle of the road. I swerved to the side and stopped the car. Babs was screaming the whole time, but by then, I didn’t care.

The thing was walking at an ominous pace towards the car. Very kind of him, to be moving slow enough to give me time to get out of the car and draw my sword. Every step he took, more tentacles came out of his body, which twisted around him with surprising ferocity.

This was it; a chance I’d been looking for. Just Slendy and I, in a no holds fight to the death. Sure, the last time I tried to fight him I got knocked into a lake, but this time it would be different. All the fighting I’ve gone through since then has only made me better; I’m stronger, faster, and more skilled than I have ever been. I figured I might be able to get in one or two hits on Slendy before he impaled me.

As I was preparing to fight, a voice came through the static of my phone. Setoth, shouting loudly to confirm if I was alive.

Arkady: “Hey, Setoth. Yeah, I’m here.”

Setoth: I could barely hear him over the static “Where…. You?”

A: “Not far from the house. But we seem to have run into some Slender trouble.”

S: “Shit…. Is [Babs] (Setoth is insisting that I alter the transcript to keep the girl anonymous. Sure, fine, I’ll do that.) alright?”

A: “Oh, she’s fine right now. I expect Slendy will eat her after he’s finished killing me.”

S: “….Get…. There!”

A: “Leave? And miss all this fun? Not a chance!”

I put the phone down, while Setoth shouted at me to run for it. With every second that Slender Man came closer, the anticipation rose higher. One last rush of adrenaline, a glorious last stand….

Setoth: “… Die now how…. Kill Javert?”

That was a legitimate point. Was I going to let Javert walk away free just because I wanted my beautiful death? Was I going to die in a trap that he had set?

Like hell I was. I’ll decide when I die, not Javert. Much as it pained me to do so, I would need to leave my epic battle with the Slender Man for another time. I pulled the phone back up and told Setoth to expect me in a few minutes. He did have one last comment to me before I ran for it:

Setoth: “Don’t you dare…. Think of using [Babs] as bait so you can escape!”

Oh, Setoth. You know me too well. That was exactly what I’d been planning. But since apparently killing her is off limits, I had to drag her away. Although soon I was practically carrying her so she could keep up (Oh, you silly average people and your inability to run sub-five minute mile pace for long periods of time). Slendy chose not to follow us. Which was kind of him, as no amount of running can keep you ahead of teleportation.

Since then, we’ve made it back to Setoth. Who was in desperate need of first aid at the time due to stabbing his own hand with a knife. He still hasn't explained to me what that was all about. Guess I'll need to wait for him to make the blog post about it, same as you lot. He had a good ol’ heart to heart talk with Babs, explaining a lot of what was going on to her. Somewhere along the line he decided that it wasn’t safe for her to stay with us crazies, so she’s going to be on the run soon. Her family owns a vacation home in Georgia, which is pretty close to where the Father of Light guys are right now. It sounds like they might be meeting up there, so Setoth’s happy that she’ll be staying with people we know.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go find something to punch, because if I have to put up with hearing the sickeningly sweet goodbyes those two are saying for much longer, I’m going to retch.


Thursday, April 28, 2011


So according to the Reintegration Tablet I've got just over a 50% chance of surviving Slender Man.

I think I like that percentage. Flip a coin, heads I win, tails I lose. It creates the necessary tension: will he win? Or will he lose? Could go either way.

The analysis of my intelligence left me a bit sad, though. Come on, AI Guy. I can quote Shakespeare from memory, and you rank me just slightly above Morningstar? I'm insulted. What do you want me to do, invent sustainable cold fusion or something?


Wednesday, April 20, 2011


We never have much of a break in the excitement round these parts.

I’ve been really enjoying not being trapped in some kind of weird alternate dimension thing. It’s a nice feeling, living in a reality not under an eldritch being’s complete control, not constantly seeing the setting change around you, and just being able to go outside and take a walk without anything too freaky happening.

It was on one of these walks when the events which I shall tell of occurred. I was on my way back to Setoth’s apartment, walking along a tree line on the edge of St. Edwards campus. It was a quite night out, all nice and calm.

And so I really wasn’t expecting someone to leap out of the trees and try to stab me. My attacker seemed to come out of nowhere; I didn’t have time to dodge, and only prevented myself from being killed by moving my forearm in the way of the blade. I’d rather get stabbed in the arm than have my neck cut open (although, to be honest, if I had the chance neither would happen to me). My attacker was using a sword with phosphorous paint over it, a hoodie (also with phosphorous paint, creating an operator symbol pattern), and a monster mask. He was also shouting something about how I was a monster he would destroy, or something. But when I saw that mask, it looked familiar. Not like anything I’d seen in real life, but like something from a website…. Maybe a blog post somewhere…..

That’s right, ladies and gents, everyone’s favorite ex-Sage, zerosage had decided to pay me a visit! I was so flattered. Me, being put on his hit list. The only sadness I felt then was from the knowledge that I would have to kill him, and thus be unable to read any more of his murderous adventures.

Upon throwing zerosage off me, I expressed my joy at seeing him, although he didn’t appear to share the same reaction. He said some cruel things to me, implying that Slendy was my master WHICH HE IS MOST CERTAINLY NOT. Zerosage continued to say these cruel things, such as “You fed willfully committed murder in his name….” as he got back up and ran at me. His swings with the sword were sloppy, lacking any real training; as such I easily was able to avoid them. I tried to throw in some witty retorts, but as a result of spending more attention on being humorous than on my surroundings, which caused me to trip on some uneven ground. Zerosage did not put this opportunity to waste, and jumped on me. In the ensuing brawl, I attempted to bash in his nose with the hilt of my sword, but the mask made this difficult. My blows caused the mask to shift slightly, giving me a look at his eyes. He was crying.

What are you supposed to do when the person trying to kill you is crying? It was such an odd, out of place sight, that for a few seconds I was in shock. Zerosage trying to press his sword down on my throat snapped me out of that. He kept repeating, “Forgive me.” Unfortunately for him, I am not the most forgiving of people, so instead I bit his wrist. That gave me the chance to throw him off, and get back onto my feet. While zerosage was still on the ground, I swung my sword down at him, striking him in the head. Even without an edge, that blow should have been enough to end the fight, but zerosage grabbed my injured arm and said, “I cannot stop, no, damn you….” Then he started to pull on the arm, causing a significant amount of pain. Both of us attempted to punch the other in the face, which resulted in us once more on the ground in a brutal melee. Somehow zerosage was able to get his hands around my throat, and started strangling me. I tried to gouge out his eyes, but again the mask made if difficult. I was starting to black out when I finally made him let go. Then I kicked him in the ribs, knocking him on his back. He looked too broken to get up again, so I limped over to retrieve my sword (which had been knocked away at some point in the chaos), and walk back over to zerosage.

Arkady: “This has been fun and all zerosage, but I think now's a good stopping point.”

Zerosage: “And when will...he? Stop?”

Arkady: “Good question. I'll ask him that next time I see him.”

Once more, I swung at his head, and connected with a crack. Only this time, he grabbed onto my sword. Zerosage shouted at me, “You…. Damn fool…. You...will not ask him...anything ever again!” And then he pulled out a taser and shot me in the arm with it.

And that was how I ended up lying on the ground in a twitching mess, while zerosage drew a serrated knife and stood over my defenseless body. His mask had almost completely fallen off, letting me see the tears running down his face, mixing with the blood from his wounds. He kept saying “Forgive me, oh god forgive me” over and over and over and over. Then he started cutting my forearm with that knife. They weren’t violent cuts intended to wound; instead they were almost surgical, carving around the bone. Although at the time, I was more focused on him cutting apart my arm than anything else, even if I couldn’t do anything about it.

Before he finished cutting, a shriek echoed around us. I saw a sudden blur of motion barreling towards zerosage. A human figure tackled zerosage, knocking him off me. It was a very distinct figure, one which I had seen several times before. Porfiry. Or, at least what was left of him.

Zerosage and the moving corpse’s fight quickly took them out of sight. I was still on the ground, unable to move, and know bleeding pretty badly from my arm. But then I heard footsteps behind me. From my position on the ground, I could just barely see the person in my peripherals. All I made out was a pair of black boots, the bottom half of a black police uniform, and a long black coat. Lots of black there.

As soon as he spoke, I instantly recognized the voice. Not like I could ever forget it.

“Porfiry’s last stand.” Javert said. “Even with His power supporting the body, Porfiry won’t be able to survive this fight. It’s such a sad thing, giving his life to save someone such as you. Someone who has completely rejected His offering of salvation. Honestly, I think He wouldn’t have minded had you died here. After your refusal of His will, there has no longer been the compulsion for us to keep you alive for the sake of bringing you into the fold. However….”

He was silent for a while, during which time I continued to be bleeding and unable to move.

“I still have yet to see you receive the justice which you deserve. I cannot have you die until I have made you suffer at my hands, in punishment for your sins.”

Then he just walked off. After I regained control of my muscles, I crawled/limped back to Setoth’s apartment, where I was able to stop the bleeding. Even so, it’s going to be hard to do anything with my left arm for a while.

On the morning news, the police found a body floating in Town Lake. They couldn’t identify it, but unless someone else is running around using phosphorous paint on their cutting tools, it was likely Porfiry’s. The remains looked like they had been run through a meat grinder; not even the bones were left unbroken. Javert was right about one thing. This time, I don’t think Porfiry is coming back.

But in spite of him killing Porfiry before I could, and very badly hurting my arm, I had fun with this whole thing. We should do it again sometimes.


Saturday, April 16, 2011

Why so Silent, Good Messieurs?

Did you think that I had left you for good?

Has it really only been two weeks? It feels so much longer. How long, I cannot say. My sense of time when I was in that place was off.

So where did I leave off? Last you heard from me, it seems I was angrily shouting at the heavens. So what did I do next? I started trying to break things; a perfectly rational response, in my opinion.
What’s this? You want me to relive some point in my childhood, Slendy? But what will you do if I decide not to play along with the event as it happened, and instead start a fire and burn the building down?
This time I’m back outside Javert’s house, on the night I made his family hostages? But what if this time, I politely knock at their door, help them cook dinner and have a nice chat before excusing myself and going home?
Oh, so you’re placing me in that desperate moment where I escaped my apartment, and was driving frantically down the interstate to get as much distance as I could from the police? How about I turn the car around, and then ram Javert’s patrol car head on?
Next you’re making me go through that time I killed Jason, except from his perspective? But what if when hallucination me tries to push me off, I grab his arm, break his fingers, throw him onto the ground, stomp on his head repeatedly, and then toss the limp body over?


I barely remember the specifics of it all. I don’t know if there was supposed to be a purpose or a message behind all the visions, but if there was, I ignored it. Possibly something about morality. Or what a bad, bad man I am. In the end, in spite of all these silly attempts to break my mind, my entire response could be summed up as “Screw this, I’m doing whatever I want”. Was I missing the entire point of this dream sequence-esque deal? Certainly. But there’s just something so satisfying about breaking the rules. Where I was expected to kill, I talked. Where I was expected to watch, I intervened. Where I was expected to run, I fought. Soon the experience ceased to be painful, and changed into a pleasure. It was exhilarating.

But Slendy did not seem to take kindly to me throwing aside the rules. The next few experiences were painful, to put it in the most understated tones. And they went on for a long time. A very long time.

Then everything ended abruptly, though it took my mind a while to understand that the pain had stopped. The world around me was completely black, as though covered in a complete darkness. Soon, a small light appeared. The light grew larger, as though coming closer, and its brightness intensified, until soon I was unable to look directly at it. Thoughts came unbidden to my mind as the light grew closer: that the light represented salvation, forgiveness, but most importantly, an end to the pain. Come into the light, accept it, and you will be freed from all anxiety and suffering. Leave this hell, and be at peace.

I didn’t have to think long.

With a smile, I leapt backwards, away from the light, further into the darkness.

I fell through the blackness for years without end. Or something poetic sounding like that. For a moment I closed my eyes, and then felt a thump as I touched the ground. When I opened them, I was lying on my mattress in Setoth’s apartment. Setoth was there as well, although his reaction to my sudden appearance was a bit disappointing. More of an “Oh, you’re back” than anything else. But I guess that sums it up best. Oh, well, it looks like I’m back.