Friday, December 24, 2010

He’s still here why is He still here days and days of Him being here, why can’t He just leave me alone, I can’t stand this anymore then I should stop sitting here and go and sock him in the face, the bastard! Typing isn’t going to get anything done, I should be fighting him! But no, that’s suicide, I would be killed at least I would be doing something instead of sobbing like a pitiful child how am I supposed to fight Him, it’s impossible. Holly was right, I don’t have a plan for this, I’m just running around talking big and pretending I can handle this I can handle this! I will crush that monster’s neck beneath my foot! He wants to kill me? ME? I will show him just who the hell he’s dealing with!

Fighting Him is futile, there’s no way to win…. I’ll find a way to win! I will not give up my life so easily, like all the other weak people he has hunted before! I will fight him with every inch of myself! How can I hope to accomplish that, I can barely even sleep at night now, I’m scared to even get out of my room fear is nothing! Just another obstacle in my path to conquest, which I will tear down! No, not possible, I can’t fight against fear itself like hell I can’t!

Maybe this is punishment for what I’ve done, punishment for all my sins…. I’m sorry Jason, stop shouting at me, please stop shouting at me Jason…. Punishment? Why would I be punished? Punished for being strong? Guilt is a chain which holds people back; I have no need of such chains. No need for me to feel shame about it! I KILLED JASON! ON THE BALCONY! WITH THE SLENDER MAN! And I’ll kill anyone else I have to for this fight! No, that’s insane, I was wrong to kill him, I shouldn’t be doing this…. Of course I should! This is no moral tale where goodness and love will triumph! There is no Sonya to redeem me at the end! Any measures which need be taken shall be taken!

All I want is to go back to normal, it’s Christmas Eve, why can’t I just celebrate Christmas Eve like I used to, why do I have to spend it crawling through darkness and fog everywhere it’s filled the house filled my mind, I’m going to die I’m going to die I’m going to die I’m going to die

Maybe I should just give up now Never! I should never give up! I will never give up! Just get this ordeal over with, go back into the forest and let Him take me, let this torture finally end go back into the forest and fight him! Go back into the forest and stab the fucker in the face nine times with a rusty knife! But I don’t have a rusty knife…. Then I’ll go and fucking find a rusty knife so I have something to stab him with!

It’s so cold here now.
Why can’t He leave me along I’m going to kill that faceless son of a bitch.


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