Monday, January 24, 2011

Conversation with a Proxy

Is it really already Monday? I seem to have lost track of time with my reading. Pouring through books as fast as I can seems to have that affect.

So I ended my last post saying I was considering talking to Javert. And that is exactly what I did. I walked out of my apartment, down two flights of stairs, across the street, and attempted to strike up a conversation with him. I felt that it was likely more productive than just watching him from my window while making the occasional rude gesture. I’ll try to transcribe what was said, but I’m going off of memory here, so accuracy might not be completely attainable.

When I first crossed the street to meet him, I expected he would initiate the conversation, and so I waited for him to do so. After several moments passed, and his attention remained on watching cars, I began to speak.

The Great, Wonderful, and Handsome Arkady: “Well, fancy meeting you here. Enjoying the beautiful day?”

Javert: “….”

A: “Yeah, I know, right? So, how’s your day been?”

J: “….”

A: “Really? Well, good for you! Hey, listen, I feel like we’ve bonded here, I really do, so as a favor to a friend, could you ask Mr. Slendy to not kill me or something? That’d really be great.”
*I noticed there that an expression of anger passed over his face when I said “Mr. Slendy”*

J: “I do not choose who He selects as his victims, and I have no say after He has made his choice.”

A: “Hey, you speak! So how’d someone like little ol’me get chosen?”

J: “I don’t know how He chooses, only that he does.”

A: “Aw, but what did I ever do? Was it the loaf of bread? Is Slendy mad at me for stealing a loaf of bread? I’m innocent, I tell you!”

J: “You’ve already killed two men. I don’t think you qualify as innocent anymore.”

A: “Well now, you can hardly fault me for Benjamin. And Jason…. Well, I just pushed him off a balcony. It wasn’t my fault there was a wild Slender Man loose on the ground.”
*Again, that slight look of anger when he heard me say “Slender Man”.*

J: “You’re a sick freak. Soon He’ll bring you the justice you deserve.”

A: “Slendy delivering justice? I’ll admit I’m not the nicest fellow out there, but what about all those poor little childrens? It would be hard to call it justice when he goes and eats the souls of orphans, wouldn’t it?”

J: “Whomever God chooses to kill, it is justice.”

*Several seconds of silence*

A: “So…. When we say God here…. Are we using another pseudonym for the tall guy, or are we talking about an old bearded man in the clouds.”

J: “They’re the same.”

*An even longer silence. I tried to detect any hint of sarcasm or a joke in that sentence, but couldn’t find anything. As far as I can tell, the man honestly believes that Slender Man and Yahweh (or some similar deity figure) are the same*

A: “You…. You mean you actually believe…. You honestly, really think he’s….”
*Starts laughing*
“Oh gods, you, you’re crazy! Even more than me! You’re so crazy, it’s, it’s awesome! You seriously think Slender Man is god? That…. Oh, man, I love you! No one’s made me this amused in a long time! I am going to have so much fun killing you and your family-”

That was when Javert changed from seeming disinterested to filled with anger. As I was still laughing, he suddenly punched me in the stomach, and then again in the face when I doubled over. Before the blow could make me stagger back out of his reach, he grabbed me by the collar and made me look into those blue eyes of his.

J: “If you come anywhere near them, then you will die. I don’t care if He wants to kill you himself, or if he has some other plans for you, I will hunt you down and slaughter you like an animal.”

Now, a police officer beating the crap out of someone who isn’t an ethnic minority in public is sure to draw concerned attention. A handful of pedestrians had stopped to watch with shocked faces, and even a few cars slowed down to view the entertainment. It seems Javert doesn’t like an audience, since he left quickly after that.

I’m going to say this once, to get it out of my system. God damn, that man hits like a fucking sledgehammer. I’m just going to consider it lucky he decided not to break any bones; after feeling those punches, I don’t doubt he could have if he wanted to. And so friggin’ fast…. I had no chance to block, dodge, or anything before he hit me.

That brief little scuffle of ours has given me even more incentive to get some kind of training. If I can’t even face one of his minions, how the hell am I supposed to go up against the Big Bad himself? I tried sitting in on a self defense course offered at the school. Unfortunately, the instructor took attendance and could tell I wasn’t registered for his course. Fortunately, he mistook that for a sign of having a “go-getter” attitude, and put me down on the roll. His name’s Professor Baker, and he’s got me down for both his karate and the judo classes.

I don’t know how long I’ll have before I need to confront Javert and his boss. Longer would be better, as I need time to build up more strength and experience to fight Javert, and knowledge to fight Slendy. Yet somehow I doubt they’ll give that opportunity to me. However much time I have, I need to accomplish as much as I can within it.


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