Thursday, April 28, 2011

50/50

So according to the Reintegration Tablet I've got just over a 50% chance of surviving Slender Man.

I think I like that percentage. Flip a coin, heads I win, tails I lose. It creates the necessary tension: will he win? Or will he lose? Could go either way.

The analysis of my intelligence left me a bit sad, though. Come on, AI Guy. I can quote Shakespeare from memory, and you rank me just slightly above Morningstar? I'm insulted. What do you want me to do, invent sustainable cold fusion or something?

Previous/Next

33 comments:

  1. It views viciousness as having a narrower intellectual scope. You DO have a tendency to depend on violence to solve all your problems. Still, you strike me as being pretty bright.

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  2. Check again Arky. Apparently I am almost non-sentient. That arrogant trashcan does not seem to like me you see.
    I would not put too much faith in that so called "Super intelligent" A.I. It is not nearly as omniscient as it thinks it is. Your chances of survival are much lower.
    Send Javert my best wishes when you see him next please. And Have fun.

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  3. I bet if you prepared properly you could increase you odds at survival. If you haven't taken a look at the electric theorem Scott wrote up I suggest you do. It could prove useful.
    I may not like your methods, but if you plan on destroying Slim I'll back you any way I can.

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  4. easy to say you quote Shakespeare when you're online, smartass.

    If you can't survive me, you can't survive him.

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  5. @Amalgamation: That is because I have yet to find a problem that can't be solved by violence. There's no reason to search for alternative solutions when hitting people gets the same results, but quicker.

    @Morningstar: Much lower? That's even better! It will make my inevitable victor so much sweeter.

    @Will: Right. Electric theorem. My talking dog and I will just go and use our lightning powers to kill Slendy. Because we all know that the only way to kill immortal monsters is through the transfer of electrons.

    @zerosage: Again with the cruel words. And, unless you happened to kill me in such a way that I would be completely unaware of it for several days, I'd like to point out that surviving you is exactly what I did.

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  6. Ignore zerosage. He's been kinda boring ever since he came back as an emo teen.

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  7. Good fucking Gods I hate the word "emo." Usually when people use it as a derogatory term it's because they're unimaginative and juvenile children trying to act grown up. Emo children don't go on crusades against those they perceive as evil, so I'm even more confused as to how you're trying to apply this. Isn't the stereotype that they whine and moan like impotent bitches because their girlfriends/boyfriends left them, which is something I'm willing to bet every ounce of money I own you've done at least once?

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  8. Can I get in on this bet, Setoth? Because I wouldn't mind getting some extra cash....

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  9. @Setoth: Quite honestly? I was too busy punching would be boyfriends in the face, and keeping a full-time job to put myself through college.

    So you would lose.

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  11. *typo*

    Oh and where I live Emo's do go on crusades against their perceived evil. Acid throwing public and stabbings aren't unheard of.

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  13. Acid-throwing, huh? WHAT ARE THESE DRAGONS DOING HERE AHH


    Setoth, dear friend, what is it you said that you then deleted?

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  14. Bleh, I shouldn't type when I've not slept in 48 hours.

    And how exactly is Zerosage emo? I'm curious to know how you derived that he is emotionally unstable when it comes to significant others and listens to Death Cab for Cutie based on the fact that he wants to kill those he deems evil. Is it because he has an emotional response ever that's mildly negative? If so man do I hope you don't cry when your friends and family die.

    Oh, and I'd love to know the relevance of working a full time job to this discussion. Because we all know people who have full time jobs and attend college are not capable of having emotional breakdowns due to significant others, right? 'Cuz, like...if people with full time jobs did have emotional break downs over significant others...well, you'd come off like those middle school kids who try to act all grown up. And that'd be pretty sad coming from an apparent college graduate.

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  15. @Tron: I deleted a typo-filled variant of what I just posted. Haven't slept in the past 48 hours, so my writing is off.

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  16. @Setoth: You ignored the part where my full-time job was paying for college. Which means I spent my free-time studying. I had no time for boyfriends.

    What does Death Cab for cutie have to do with anything?

    You should understand that people who follow Arkady's blog and cheer him on are of 'certain' type of mindset.

    I'm quite surprised that my single lines of sarcastic comment evoked such an emotional response in you. I've summarily expected to be ignored actually.

    Did I get under your skin?

    Wonder what Arkady thinks of all this. He's probably laughing.

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  17. "Wonder what Arkady thinks of all this. He's probably laughing."

    Yeah, basically that.

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  18. It's amazing how you can all manage to act like children squabbling over who gets to be the fucking line leader.

    Vashuda, just answer the damn question: how the Hell is zerosage emo? The last I knew, so-called "emo" people didn't go around deciding to kill sociopaths. Or really do anything but show off their supposedly tortured souls to the world without actually doing anything useful. And look, I don't think any of us really actually care how much of a badass you'd like us to believe you are or were or whatever.

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  19. Or maybe we could conCentRate on ACTUaL FUCkING PRObLEMS.

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  20. Yes, problems such as the definition of 'emo.'

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  21. Emo: Very emotional. Drama Queen.

    Includes crying when killing people, while muttering how sorry they are. A stpale of the type of emo's I see where I live.

    @Michenab: I don't give a shit. Deal with it.

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  23. Problem solved. Moving on with life.



    Arkady, Setoth, has nothing happened for the past two weeks? At all?

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  24. Last week has been oddly quiet. Again. I really don't like these lulls we keep having. It always means something bad is coming.
    Setoth, on the other hand, has been thoroughly enjoying this moment of peace.

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  25. Certain people have disappeared over the few weeks. Calm before the storm and all that.

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  26. I'd enjoy it while you can, Arkady.

    What little peace Kal and I had ended.

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  27. @Michenab Arkady does have a point though. It may be very cliche, but its true.
    Its hard to enjoy something when you know it will only bring horrible pain and whatnot.



    (Plus, writing and collaborating to make something interesting takes time, doesn't it.) Whoops, what was that? I didn't say anything.

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  28. @Tron: Besides depriving Arkady of his sleep (again, sorry) I've not really been up to much. With the Astral Plane being one potential avenue of attack I've been doing a little bit of recon here and there, but it's all rather pointless. It's a "needle-in-a-haystack" situation, since space/time don't work in a linear fashion there like in the real world. It's a bit unnerving, Babs and the E are keeping my nerves in check.

    @Michenab: Bleh, sorry for stirring shit. What little blog posting I do is whenever I have free time and I'm not being mauled by pandimensional monstrosities. I don't like having what little happy time I get being ruined by idiots, but that's my problem isn't it? :p

    How's Kal holding up btw? Read the last update but given how it ended...curious to see how he's handling himself.

    @Arkady: While I'm here...we're low on milk and absinthe. I'm heading out for the rest of the night and probably won't be back until tomorrow morning. Any chance you could go get some? I'll reimburse you tomorrow.

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  29. @Tron: I know the feeling, trust me, but I would so love to enjoy even just a small moment of time.

    @Setoth: Kal is... I think Kal is still sorting things out. Or trying to at any rate. But then, aren't we all?

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  30. Are you guys dead yet?







    Just checking.

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  31. Yes. I am dead. It was very tragic. No one will mourn the loss of myself more than me.

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  32. Tragic. Good to know they have Wi-Fi in hell, though.

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  33. If it's of any consolation, I think you're much smarter than Morningstar.

    Admittedly, it might be because of the constant classic literature references and the flowery language at the beginning of this blog.

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